Check it out...........
I wasn't expecting to have an altercation with a talking machine when I set out for the supermarket this morning.
I have used the self checkouts for over a year now. In fact I use them every time I go. I like them (usually). They're quick (usually) and efficient (usually).
Not this morning. Oh no.
On completing my shopping I took my basket to the Self Service Checkouts. On this occasion the plastic carrier bags on the bagging area were stuck together and I spent several minutes trying to get the things unstuck. I had my art materials with me as well as the shopping basket, and getting the plastic bags to seperate wasn't proving to be an easy task. Finally, I managed it with a clatter as I dropped my purse on the bagging area side of the checkout just as I was pressing the START button on the screen.
UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA
"What?" I yelled at the machine. "I haven't started yet". The young guy facing me who had just arrived at his machine opposite mine, glanced at me, looking startled for a second and then he looked down again trying to suppress the onset of a fit of giggles. "You know don't you?" I felt like asking him. However I just glared indignantly at him and pulled a face.
As the dreaded checkout thingy was not going to let me proceed, I was beginning to loose my cool. Just then I saw the assistant making her way towards me. I explained what had happened and she nodded, pressed a few icons on the screen and all was well. I was set to continue.
"It's being temperamental" she informed me. "It's looking for some attention."
Well there you have it. An argumentative, temperamental, talking machine craving the limelight. For some reason, an image of Nick Clegg our esteemed deputy Prime Minister flitted across my mind. You know, the one who sold his soul to David Cameron.
Anyway, I digress, back to the checkout machine......................... The young guy across kept looking at me and smiling to himself. I eyed him warily.
All was going smoothly until I got to the wine and scanned it .
APPROVAL NEEDED
"Bitch." I muttered. Well at least it was just checking that I was old enough to be buying booze. I guess I should have been flattered. Along came the assistant again, to the amusement of my spectator on the other side. Once again her magic fingers pressed a few icons and the machine was happy and so was I.
Didn't last though. Did you think it would? No, neither did I.
When I tried to scan a punnet of strawberries, this darling, temperamental machine appeared to have been suddenly struck with a bout of dyslexia and was unable to read the barcode. I tried and tried again to get it to scan until I felt there was nothing left but to sue the supermarket on account of my newly acquired repetitive strain injury.
"You Okay?" My spectator at the opposite machine quietly mouthed at me. I nodded "Thanks". I'm not a complete moron, I felt like saying, It's the machine that's an idiot.
About to summon the assistant once more, the machine finally surrendered and scanned the strawberries. I muttered to myself something about a conspiracy.
The end was in sight, the ordeal almost over, and after paying, I had to gather up what was a fair amount of shopping and other things, and so it was taking a little time to get it together. Just as I managed to get all my bags under control and was turning to leave -
PLEASE TAKE YOUR ITEMS
"Have a nice day"
* * *
P.S. I recently read in a newspaper that "Unexpected Item in Bagging Area" has now become a slogan on T-Shirts. I think I'll get myself one. It might save the checkout machine from getting a sore throat........
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